My snowflake today is in the Voodoo stage:
Snowflake #16 of 99 Snowflakes from Leisure Arts
Classes officially begin tomorrow, but I don't have any until Wednesday. On the one hand, I think I may be ready to start a new semester and see if I can't alter my expectations so that I enjoy the process more. On the other hand, I dont' feel rejuvenated by my break and I'm not ready for the franticness of the semester. I will still have my creative time, it will just be less spontaneous and more limited. I'm still trying to keep an open mind, but I'm trying to be a little more practical about it, too. I don't have to love every aspect of graduate school. I just have to love one or two. I just have to love my research. I have to love learning. I don't have to love all my classes. I am allowed to think some aspects of classwork are as crappy as I did in undergrad without feeling ungrateful for the opportunity to be here. I can dread required classes that are outside my field of interest. Otherwise, perhaps that would be my field of interest. I'm letting myself just get through the last couple of weeks of this useless rotation without going above and beyond. This puts a lot of pressure on my next rotation, but I have faith. I really, really do.
I just reread that last paragraph and parts of it don't even make sense to me. Don't feel bad if you got lost. But I'm leaving it because it's so much cheaper than therapy. Even though, technically, I could get that for free through the school. But I would have to walk to the offices and it's cold. So I guess it's just warmer than therapy. Whatever works.
I'm going to put away at least part of the Christmas decorations now. Are anyone else's sinuses completely and utterly pissed off these days? Oy vey.