Thursday, June 15, 2006

I don't think I know how to do this.

This is my fear in starting this blog: I don't have anything to say. Oh, I could take daily pictures of the three additional afgan blocks I created today, that look exactly like the last thirty I made on the last twenty days, but that would be stupid. I could tell you about a really interesting biopsy we got in the lab today but a) we didn't get anything interesting, b) if we had you wouldn't care and c) if you did care I still couldn't tell you about it for privacy reasons. I could tell you about how my co-worker shampooed her dog with half a bottle of oily, foul-smelling anti-shedding medication that she later found out she was supposed to *feed* her dog, but that's her story, not mine. Don't I have a story?

I'm a mild blog-stalker and I'm often impressed with how people can go from relating something that happened to them that day to delving really deeply into their own psyches (or the collective psyche) and write something that is, if not deep, at least entertaining. And some can do it with such wit! People tell me I'm funny, but I've never really thought so myself. Can I do this blog thing the way I want to be able to do it? Can I make a single person on the planet (even Gator?) want to read anything I ever have to say? Does anyone ever really write a blog sincerely for their own enjoyment? I think I'd heartily roll my eyes if someone told me they did. Bloggers are exhibitionists; they're show-offs. I readily admit I'm a huge ham. I love performing -- singing, dancing, theater. But in those instances, someone always gives you the words (or the steps) beforehand. I don't have much experience in improvisation. What if I can't do it?

I tell myself that this will be different after I actually move. Once Gator is not in the next room on his own computer and I can just say, "Hey, Honey! Guess what?" and I actually have to plan to tell him things. Maybe then I'll hope no one else is reading.

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